A social commentator, Zainab Isa Hayatudeen, has stirred conversations on gender relations and societal values after publishing a thought-provoking reflection on what she describes as the often-overlooked role of women in shaping social behaviours and family dynamics.
In her commentary, Hayatudeen argued that while men are frequently criticised for societal shortcomings, women also bear significant responsibility for some of the challenges affecting families and communities.
According to her, many women claim to desire responsible and upright partners but are often drawn to men who display troubling behaviours, including criminality, dishonesty, and questionable lifestyles. She noted that women sometimes overlook important character traits such as integrity, discipline, responsibility, and kindness while prioritising superficial qualities.
Hayatudeen further contended that some women contribute to unhealthy relationship patterns by romanticising toxic behaviour and remaining in abusive relationships despite repeated warning signs.
She also raised concerns about parenting, particularly the role of mothers in raising children. According to her, some women fail to instill accountability in their sons, while at the same time influencing daughters to adopt unhealthy attitudes towards relationships and marriage.
The commentator argued that mothers often serve as the first educators within families and therefore have a major responsibility in teaching values such as respect, responsibility, and compassion.
Addressing family relationships, she criticised practices where children are drawn into conflicts between adults, including disputes involving co-wives and extended family members. She said such actions can negatively affect children’s emotional development and perceptions of others.
Hayatudeen also condemned situations where women remain silent in the face of abuse against daughters or other vulnerable family members in order to protect family reputation, warning that such silence can perpetuate harm.
She maintained that women possess considerable influence within homes, relationships, and communities, even when that influence is not always openly acknowledged. As such, she called for greater self-reflection among women regarding how that influence is exercised.
While acknowledging that men have their own shortcomings, Hayatudeen stressed that meaningful social change requires honest self-examination from both genders rather than focusing exclusively on the faults of the other.
“The first step towards change is honesty, even when the truth is uncomfortable,” she stated.
Her remarks have since generated debate on social media, with supporters praising her willingness to challenge prevailing narratives, while critics argue that her views oversimplify complex social issues and risk placing disproportionate responsibility on women for broader societal problems.
